Man Overboard – HMS Ark Royal 1987!

I was lucky enough to spend 2 years on HMS Ark Royal, an aircraft carrier, in the late 80s.  While on deployment in the Mediterranean, we had a 17 year old prospective Medical Assistant join us for 3 weeks.  Hed just finished basic training and had several weeks to wait before his MA course started.  This guy was 17 going on 12, very naive – in the nicest possible way.  He believed anything he was told and was ready to follow any order with enthusiasm.  I couldn’t help liking him, but also had a hard time not taking advantage of his willing personality.

I was a member of the seaboat crew and we were out 2-3x daily carrying out man overboard drills using a dummy.  The boat bay was about 45feet above sea level and the RIB (rigid inflatable boat) was swung out and lowered from a hydraulic boom on a cable.  Smudge (our intrepid prospective MA) was watching us one day & expressed an interest in coming out in the boat.  Smudge was promptly invited to play ‘man overboard’.  I told him we sometimes rescued a ships diver who would be dropped from a helicopter, but that he would have to jump from the side of the ship.  This was not really possible & there would be a fair chance of being sucked into the screws and turned into fish bait.  He said yes, but after looking over the side his face took on a worried look.  Once I saw this, I slowed things down.  Smudge was told it might be several days before he’d get the chance to jump.  Every day he’d ask if it was time.

3 days later we dragged him out of bed at 0500am and dressed him in a wetsuit, lifejacket, mask, fins and snorkel.  I strapped a dive knife to his leg and told him it was fend off sharks. “Poke them in the eye with it”.  We made him walk through the ship to the boatbay in full kit, breathing through his snorkel and peering through his steamed up mask.  He had to walk backwards up the stairwells.  People were backing up against the bulkhead to let him pass.  All 900 of the crew knew what was going on.  Only Smudge was less than blissfully ignorant.

When we got to the boatbay,  a ‘safety line’ was tied around Smudges waist.  He was told that when the time came to jump hed be untied.  The bosun sat Smudge on the edge of the ship.  He was so terrified that his trembling buttocks were lifting his body up and down.  The bosun counted him down from 5, and to give him his due, he moved to jump.  At the same time, 4 burly seamen heaved him back into the ship by his safety line.  Right at that moment, the ships photographer took a pic of the scene.  I had the Phot section make me a few copies that day.  For the next few years I stayed in touch with Smudges drafting and made sure a copy of the picture was on a noticeboard before he got where he was going.

Smudge – I wish you well, wherever you are & hope you have got over your POSD (Post Owen Stress Disorder)  I need to add that Smudges honour was upheld with help of CPOMA John Clinton.  JC helped Smudge turn the tables on Steve Moutrey and I.  Watch this space for the follow up dit…