I will revisit Haslar on a few occasions. My first tale concerns my first visit to a ward and my first 'procedure'.

Around two to three weeks into part 2 it's time to meet a real patient. Theory is great, of course, but it takes on a whole new perspective when applied it to a living, breathing subject.

I now have proudly displayed on my arm, a red cross, signifying I am a member of the medical branch of the Royal Navy. It's OK to wear it at Haslar because it is obvious that I am a lowly trainee. In fact, I revel in the 'rank' of Junior Medical Assistant 2 (JMA2) – can't get any lower than this in the pecking order.

Anyway, back to the task in hand. What fascinating thing will I be doing this morning? This thought runs through my eager mind as I enter one of the general surgery wards. Here, my tutor lets me know that I will be performing a high-colonic lavage (popular in some parts of the community, today) on a poor, unsuspecting patient.

Trust me, this is not the procedure to start your medical career with! I will spare you all the gory details – suffice to say it involved shoving a tube up the patient's rear end, pouring many pints of warm water down the tube and, cleaning the lower intestine as well as possible. This is in preparation for surgery.

So, a smelly, thoroughly unpleasant hour later – I leave the surgical ward having, well and truly, been introduced to the reality of my job. Welcome to my world!

Extract from  a Navy Lark – memoirs of a RN Medic

Yes, we are still at Haslar in early February 1974 undergoing part 2 training. We have a particularly sadistic, or so it seemed at the time, Chief Petty Officer as our instructor. He believed a fit trainee is a happy and alert trainee. Alright as far as it goes.

So back to the sea wall. It is 06.00 in the morning – my class is up and dressed in shorts, vest and plimsolls. This is our standard exercise gear. We are in the freezing cold winter air running alongside the sea wall. We do this most mornings in the week. After a couple of miles we reach a grassy clearing. This is were we get to play a fairly unique game for the RN – I'm sure that the other services have something similar.

We now partake in 15 minutes of Murder ball. Murder ball? Yep – Murderball. A simple game with no rules. We are split into two teams. The objective is to score touchdowns – you can kick, throw and run with the ball. The Chief blows the whistle and bedlam ensues. Bodies everywhere!

Oh, I failed to mention the main strategy when playing Murder ball – get rid of the ball as soon as you get it! If you fail to do this you will find yourself underneath a pile of bodies intent on crushing you, seemingly, to death. After 10 minutes or so the 'game' comes to an end. Who knows who won? I just know some of us have a few more bumps and bruises.

Right, back to the school. No, not quite yet. We run back along the sea wall. Now, just to make sure we are wide awake we all plunge into the icy cold Solent. Bloody hell, it's freezing! My testicles panic and try to get as deep into my abdomen as rapidly as possible.

Now soaking and frozen we run, pretty rapidly, back to the school, shit, shower, shave and have breakfast. Then it's into the classroom for the day's lessons.

Funnily enough, nobody ever seemed to doze during these lessons!

Extract from  a Navy Lark – memoirs of a RN Medic

How many of us did this? I can still taste them now!

Fun stuff to while away Night duties…

This came up after a chat on the Rum Ration Site.

One night on E block top ward(E3 or E2 I think) we were bored.   We had a "glow in the dark" plastic skull, full size and attached it to a line.   At the same time we found a large nut and did like wise.

Using the nut on the line we tapped the window of the ward below.   We did this a few times then on the last one we let the skull drop. The screams were quite clear.

Needless to say we had a visit from the Block Staff Nurse and denied it all!

Any other dits like this out there?

I was reminded of an incident that happened in TD back in 78. We were doing light rescue practice off Dolphin Sub Aqua club building roof…..

There we were on the roof with a war pattern stretcher and assorted lengths of cordage. A casualty(mug more like) was selected,one PMA "Pony" Moore. He was duly dumped on the stretcher.

The "Leader",  a halfwit that had been back classed from Harvey Blue class(no names, no pack drill!),  selected the scaggiest most grotty bit of rope to lash the Casualty into the stretcher. Despite the rest of us telling him it was a bad move to use it he dismissed it.

Down below was the rest of Jenner Class and POMA Chris Henry, "carry on" he orders and so we fling Pony off the roof in his stretcher. We lowered away untill we hear "Haul him up! Haul him up!" We did as we were told,thinking that Pony had lost a lot of weight. Up came the stretcher……….minus the casualty!

What happened was…… the rope parted and pony's top half fell out of the stretcher, as he passed his legs he grabbed the rope which pulled his legs out after him and he landed on his feet on the ground!

We looked over to see a very white faced Pony being treated for syncope! Our first REAL casualty!  How we laughed!  Except poor Pony!

Whats funny though as the years passed is watching the following classes join and go through the same! – You medics never changed, and some became renowned for their actions on 'the new class'.

Class 57 was elite, we were the last fully naval trained class, before the school of nursing joined with the Portsmouth hospital, to provide the RN's nurse training of the future.

Six months after the start of our training it all came to a halt! – War had been declaired in the Falklands and nurses six months in to their training were then found to be nursing….full on…….no experience, but we learnt a hell of a lot.

What an honour to nurse those who returned, wounded physically and mentally we helped them through……..although I'm sure they still live with many a scar.

I remember sitting on the sea wall late one night with Kevin Crook, watching most of his mates sail out. He was gutted not to be with you, but not being fit following smashing up his leg, it was not to be.

Too much in my mind and so many memories.

I wish all of you a Happy and Restful Christmas.

Anyone who knows me, get it touch…….Love u all

Sarah

Being brought up on an island meant that I had led a rather quiet, sheltered life prior to joining up.

One great revelation – and a source of fear and fascination in equal measure – was the Haslar Club pay day disco and the resident platter spinner. Ladies n' Gennelmen, I give you Barry Dyer!

I challenge anyone who was at Haslar in the early 70's and used to go along to the discos (is there anyone who didn't?) not to remember Barry's sign off tune and the last chance it represented to have a slowy and, who knows, a quick snog on the way back to F Block. There was never a square foot of free dance floor once the strains of this song were heard… Why didn't someone come up with the concept of an "all slowies" disco? Be still my beating heart!

Although, predominently a Stonehouse rating I, nevertheless, held both of these hospitals in high regard. The levels of training and care provided by both of these hospitals put many of the NHS Trusts in the shade. I have fond memories of both.

Sad times indeed for a proud Medical Branch. They will be both, sadly missed.

Progress? I think not.

Mick Wright

1973 – 1987